Mature mind V.S. Immature mind
They were familiar with one another. Some years ago they attended college together. They were both in relationships at the time so acknowledgement of one another was all they shared. College ended and they went their separate ways.
Fast forward five years. The infamous social media site connects them again. They chit chat about their lives and what they endured over the last five years and to her surprise they were both single. He learned that she had three children and he had four. She had been divorced for two years and he had just recently parted ways with his youngest child's mother. The break up was fresh and she could clearly tell he wasn't fully healed from it but she stuck around making a mental note to not get her feelings to highly involved. He was a sales executive at a local pharmaceutical company and his job kept him traveling to various cities. She was an entrepreneur and owner of two assistant living facilities and she also owned a boutique in Canton. While he traveled on business they did a lot of communicating through texts and talking. A few months went by and they had not yet layed eyes on each other. When she realized so much time had passed and he had not made mention of a face to face meeting she became concerned. She was so busy she didn't really put too much energy into it but it was definitely noticeable. She was at a happy hour one night and she invited him to join her. He came up with every excuse not to be able to show up.That was the first and last time she would ever initiate a meeting. Some time passed nothing changed , life happened and she had to pull away.
Fast forward some more.
Two more years pass and once again the social media giant strikes again and he's contacting her. After reading his message she thought to herself maybe she was too hard on him a few years ago and should give him another chance so she responds. A few inboxes turned into a phone call. That phone call lasted almost three hours. Once again they were catching up on each other's lives and surprisingly again they were both still single. He had made some life style improvements and she had experienced spiritual growth. He shared his accomplishments and she congratulated him. His job still kept him away from home a lot so they picked up on their communicating while he was traveling for work. She started to notice a difference this time around. The last time they interacted they talked on the phone all the time however this time around after that initial almost three hour phone call he had not called her one time. He texted her every morning and every afternoon and night but not one phone call. The texts were very lazy with wording such as (gm, whyd, and hey) To a mature adult who's trying to get closer to someone one word texting and no talking is a unacceptable practice of communication .verbal stimulation is a requirement.
AND HERES WHERE HE STARTED TO LOSE HER
Along with her spiritual growth she had also grown wiser and accepted her gift of discernment. She had a absolutely amazing relationship with God and her connection with the Holy Spirit was unheard of by most and creepy at times . She was more aware and had decided that she was dating with a purpose. She knew how to friend zone someone with no hesitation if this is where they placed themselves by their actions and lack of communication skills.
She knew what she wanted she knew what she deserved and she wasn't accepting anything less. As she was gracefully strolling through her forties she realized she needed more from a potential mate than random texting all day. Her mature mind required verbal communication. The only thing was God had trained her to be silent about her needs because the man he was sending for her would already know these things and she would not have to teach him or tell him how she deserved to be treated.She had learned from previous relationships that when you have to keep telling a man what he should do he won't be consistent with it cause it was never his intention to do it from the beginning. She learned that real grown men didn't have to be told how to treat a real grown woman. So she was not to be aggressive no matter what and she was to sit still and let a man be a man. If he showed to be incapable of that simple task then clearly he wasn't the one. So as she sat in silence and observed him he didn't seem to realize that her once conversational text turned to one words answers to match his one word text. Now she's giving him what he gives her and sometimes it was no response at all. Still he didn't get it. He didn't realize she was shortening her text because she was tired of texting and still he never picked up the phone to call. She continued to answer his texts in the same manner. She prayed about it and asked what she should do. The next day her usual good morning text comes through she responds and elaborated by asking what was he doing. To her shocking he was in town. The last time they spoke he was in Alabama. He never spoke of coming in town nor during any of his texts did he begin to plan their meeting. After all they had not seen one another since college and that was many years ago. With his persistence she had no reason to think he didn't want to meet with her. Why wouldn't he? He made it his business to communicate with her every day even if it was only by text. So here he was in close proximity to her and he had made no attempt at a meeting nor had he picked up the phone to call. The texting continues however she's slowly losing interest. She was instructed not to be aggressive so she never mentioned a meeting she waited patiently to see if he was going to mention it. Day one nothing. Day two nothing day three nothing. Still texting mind you but no mention of a meeting.
HE LOST HER
She had decided she was dating with a purpose but yet she was entertaining someone who talked like they were interested but made no attempt to take the situation pass texting. At forty plus years she needed more than texting. Now if she desired a pen pal he would have been perfect however she didn't desire a pen pal at this stage in her life. The aggressive her would have called him and asked him why hadn't he made plans to see her or she would have hinted to him she wanted to be taken out but the submissive her wouldn't allow it. She knew the one that God sends her way is going to pursue her and all she needs to do is is be present open and behave as a queen. If she has to initiate the meeting or mention it that's not part of the plan so she sat in silence and obedience. A few weeks passed the texts got far and few in between and before she knew it they stopped.
She was relieved because she didn't want to have to be the bad guy once again by cutting him off. She prayed and asked for guidance and what was revealed to her was he did like her however there was a fear somewhere that crippled him from moving forward with pursuing her past a three letter text message. If she had been persistent and aggressive he may have done it but she was instructed not to be and what that proved was he wasn't ready. This didn't make him a bad person it just means he's not ready to deal with her on a dating level and the level of communication that someone her age requires. Pen pal yes potential mate no. She didn't feel like she had lost as she had once felt in the past. She actually felt liberated that not only had she followed the path that was set before her by the Holy Spirit but that she stayed obedient and true to herself. She straighten her crown patted herself on the back and walked away with her dignity still in tact.
ITS JUST THAT SIMPLE
Once you figure out what you want and what you don't want and what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate the quicker you can rule out the undesirables and make yourself present for the person that get it and understands you .
She finally abdicated the old her and was proud owner of the new and improved her. she now knows her worth.
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