Mr Wrong (The oppurtunist)

Opportunism is the conscious policy and practice of taking selfish advantage of circumstances – with little regard for principles, or with what the consequences are for others. Opportunist actions are expedient actions guided primarily by self-interested motives. The term can be applied to individual humans and living organisms, groups, organizations, styles, behaviors, and trends.
The opportunist is always lurking in the winds and if your not careful you will be used by one and not even know it. If your familiar with the reality show real housewives of Atlanta you have heard the term opportunist. It has  come up quite often this season in relation to Todd. This type of person purposely seeks out a mate that is already established and well off so they (the opportunist) do not  have to work for anything. They seek out these individuals because they desire to live the life of a esteemed person but they are not capable of doing it on their own so they selfishly use people and situations to gain them the status that they are not capable of obtaining on their own merits. This person can be very dangerous to your heart strings  if trying to pursue a loving relationship with them because you will never know if this person loves you for who you are or for what they can get from you.
In most cases it's for what they can get from you which means you will never get what your heart desires because your going to be too busy satisfying them.
The opportunist wants instant gratification. They will never chose a mate that's  working on gaining success because this will force them to have to plan and wait for something to happen and that's not their ideal plan. The perfect mate for the opportunist is someone who is way above them in social, financial and mental status .Pay attention to the red flags. Are you the main financial source in your relationship? Do you find yourself giving way more than your getting back? are they taking more than they are giving? If this describes your relationship chances are your dealing with a opportunist. these relationships are usually one sided and there is no real fulfillment in it for the victim. If you chose to remain in this situation you will never receive your full worth's potential. When the opportunist comes knocking shut the door and lock it.

Narcissist Chronicles(Part 1)

 

It was day three of my peace being totally disturbed. I refused to go another day allowing another person  who was a total non factor in my life steal my peace and joy that I worked so hard at maintaining. Just that quick they(narcissist) can make you so angry that you can hardly see straight. This one person in the world that sometimes you wished would just disappear from the face of the earth has returned with another round of their child like foolishness. The old me would have succumbed to it embraced it and allowed it to consume me but the new improved me that has grown so much since last year has  refused to let that happen.
 I entered my private prayer area and I cried out to God to please reveal to me how to deal with this person and most importantly help me to change my mindset so I no longer allow another persons  foolish ways impact my sanity.
It wasn't until I refused to leave my prayer area until I heard something from the Holy Spirit.
A few gospel songs and some quiet time later I heard the whisperer say don't worry I  will handle it. The next morning I grabbed my computer and I googled "how to deal with difficult people" it was then I was introduced to narcissistic personality disorder. This wasn't my first time hearing this term however it was the first time I was led to apply it to the person I was having difficulty with.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you're better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

As my mind started to process what I was reading I realized this disorder was a perfect match to the person I was trying to deal with. There was big 8x10 portrait of them starring  back at me . I knew immediately that this was Gods way of letting me know how to deal with this person. There were tons of articles on how to deal with narcissists there were also plenty of true stories from fellow narcissistic abuse victims sharing their story and shedding some light on how to deal with such a dreadful individual.
As I began to educate myself on the disorder I learned that a relationship with a narcissist is a lot like one of those horror movies only you are playing all of the victims as the same time. First your confidence is strangled and left naked on the porch. Next, your trust is slashed with a chainsaw. Finally, you mental health is pushed through a shredder and the only thing you have left is your trembling, naked psyche standing at the top of the basement stairs wondering where the rest of her friends are.

People who get into narcissistic relationships follow a pattern, too. We are empathetic, often feeling others’ emotions very strongly. We are wired to help people if we can even if it means sacrificing ourselves in the process. We love deeply and we are fiercely loyal. So what’s our kryptonite?
The narcissist Serves as our kryptonite because they start  out very charming and nice. They shower you with compliments and make you feel special this person is the representative . The representative will stay around long enough to get you hooked and then right when you think god has sent your Prince Charming riding in on a chariot , the real them pays you a visit. At first your confused you think they must just be having a bad couple of days. Wrong thought!!. In actuality this is who they are but by this time your too blinded by love to run. You've caught feelings so you decide to stick it out things have to get better. Another wrong thought!!
things will not get better because you are dealing with a person  with a personality disorder and that does not just go away.
 This is the time when you have to face the fact that this person is suffering with a mental disorder that doesn't get better but gets worst.
And don't even try to fix them or change them it's not going to happen. Trying to fix a narcissist is like trying to put a glass mug back  together after it's fallen to the floor and shattered into tiny pieces. While you know it's never going to happen and trying is just going to inflict pain on yourself .The only way to get free is the run as far away as possible from this person or you will never be treated in the manner that you are worthy of and deserve. Take my advice if your dealing with the person that was described in these words your peace will not be restored until you get away from them.
(Part two of the narcissistic chronicles  will cover how  to maintain your peace when dealing with a narcissist)