Tuesday, February 16, 2016

open letter from the one who let you get away

I know I'm not on your level and I have a ways to go until I can get there. I promised myself I wouldn't come after you until I could give you a 110% of what you deserve. I know you've done a great deal of growing and I can see the change in you. I was trying to keep up but somewhere along the ride I fell off the bike. I'm not going to step to you and interfere your greatness  because I know your not going to put up with me. I know what I'm bringing to the table does not meet your standards. So in the meantime I will go out and I will find women that have not yet found their worth and don't require much in a mate. their only requirement is that I show up and be a warm body in the bed next to them and in exchange they will cater to me and adore me even in my foolishness. With these women I don't have to do much work. I will convince them that I love them when I really don't.These type of women don't put much focus on  actions so all I have to do is show up say a few kind words make some empty promises and take what they are giving me. I will use them and fake love them until they either get tired or I get tired of faking. My heart will always be with you because your the one I love I realized I messed things up with you and I will always regret that but my inability to be with myself and take time to heal keeps me searching for and choosing poor replicas of you. I cant believe I'm saying these things but I need to be honest with you. for some reason my conscious always kicks in where you are concerned. I wont take up anymore of your time just continue to pray for me and one day maybe I can grow to be the man you needed me to be and that God designed me to be.



Thursday, February 11, 2016

The dangers of dealing with emotionally unavailable people

Many people are physically available but not as many are emotionally available and when you desire both but chose to settle for one the relationship will not be sturdy because the foundation on which it was built was shaky from the beginning. God says he will give us the desires of our heart but after we ask him we must be diligent and patient in waiting for HIM to deliver because if impatience sets in and you get tired of waiting for HIM you will choose somebody on your own and if you choose a emotionally unavailable person you will never get the desires of your heart fulfilled. You'll get something but its not going to be what you desired. Its easy to be physically available all you have to do is simply just show up. Your body is there and  its doing the physical thing that you desire. The emotional piece is different to be emotionally available you must be free of all emotional attachments to the lovers and mates  from your past. How can you tell if someone is emotionally unavailable? When they speak often of  a person in their past as if they are not over the relationship. When they are still dealing with and entertaining  drama concerning a past relationship and they can't seem to get past it this normally is a red flag that they are still emotionally tied to this person. When dealing with a emotionally unavailable person you must understand  that because they are still partially tied to a completely different person they can't be fully tied to you. Emotional attachment means their heart still belongs to another person and two people cant have one persons heart. You know their heart doesn't belong to you when they still feel the need to protect the other person and no matter what this person does they continue to entertain them this doesn't  make you a bad person it just makes you not yet fully available to a person that's whole and emotionally available. When you realize your not emotionally available you should take some time to self reflect and focus on getting past the hurt that keeps you emotionally tied to another person and work on releasing it so that you can one day show up in a relationship being a whole person and not just the physical half.


Wednesday, February 3, 2016

did you pick them or Did God send them ?

When a woman reaches a place in  life where she is tired of making wrong choices in men and doing it her way and she desires a real meaningful relationship she will seek God for help. She will get to the place where she begins to pray and ask God to send her a man. The tricky part in praying and asking God to send you people you must first have a relationship with God meaning you talk to him daily not just when you want something and when you talk to him you have the capacity to hear the small still voice speaking back to you.  Once you reach this level you then must  also realize just as God hears you so does the devil.When we pray and ask God for a mate we automatically assume he is the only one who hears us so as soon as we are approached by a man who we are  physically attracted to we automatically think its from God this is not always the case.When we think God has answered our prayer we tend to let our guard down. We may say to ourselves " I prayed for a man here he is so God must have sent him and he must be the one for me".This may seem true in the very beginning so we choose this person and pursue a relationship with them. As your getting to know them if your truly connected to God in a intimate way and this  person is mr wrong God will send the red flags that's proof he didn't construct this union but if your not in tune with listening to him and your more focused on what your flesh is saying  you will ignore the red flags. Red flags are sent to warn you that something is not quite right with a person. They are the signs that show you that your not equally yolked. Sometimes we will see that we're not equally yolked but we will stay thinking we can change the person or the person will eventully change. This is  not the person that was sent by God. When God sends our mate there will be no change required he will make sure that they are equipped with everything needed to be the ideal mate designed just for you. Choosing to stay with a person that God didn't send you will lead you down a road of frustration and misery. Once you get fed up with choosing the wrong people and start relying on God to place people in your life this is when you'll start to entertain the right people and the wrong people will fall away. This is when life gets exciting. Now is good time to evaluate your relationships and ask yourself did I pick them or did God send them. Once you get the answer be gentle with yourself and take the necessary steps to make things right.



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