Matters of the Mind: Bury the illusion. (excerpt from the Love Lust a...

Matters of the Mind: Bury the illusion. (excerpt from the Love Lust a...: Sometimes you have to make people dead in your head. This doesn't mean you wish mortal death upon them or that you harbor hatred or un...

Bury the illusion. (excerpt from the Love Lust and Redemption sequel)

Sometimes you have to make people dead in your head. This doesn't mean you wish mortal death upon them or that you harbor hatred or unforgiveness towards them. It simply means the person you thought they were either no longer exists or never existed. Oftentimes when people show us who they are instead of believing them and fleeing when it's not to our standard we stick around and try to fix them and or change them and this will always result in failure and loads of unnecessary frustration.during that time of "sticking around" we create a illusion in our mind that if we continue to treat them good they will eventually reciprocate and love you the way you love them. This false illusion will keep you trapped  and you stay longer than you should. Once you realize the person can't be fixed and probably doesn't want to be you then have to embrace that the person you thought they were never really existed. Therefore they are dead. Once the relationship or friendship becomes toxic and unhealthy you must let them go to retain your sanity. Deeming them dead in your head just relieves you of having any type of expectation or thought of entertaining them. When a thought of them enters your brain you simply whisper dead and carry on with your day. Place all feelings you had for them in the coffin and bury them with all the rest of the rubbish that came along with their existence in your life.


 

Friend or Foe?

Often times people enter our lives with  good intentions on being our friend. In the beginning the friendship is balanced and your equally behaving as friends behave. Once months and years go by the friendship encounters certain trials and tests such as any other relationship you enter into to. The only difference between tests and trials in a friendship compared to a marriage, a parental relationship or a relationship with your child is you’re not actually tied in any way to your friends. They are people that entered your life with an intention of gaining your trust as well as treating you in a manner in which feels good to your spirit. Therefore the loyalty  must be earned and not given.

 You will encounter many different types of friendships on your journey so you must be aware of the types of people you’re allowing into your circle and calling a friend. If you have a person that you consider a friend but they are only happy with you as long as everything is going smooth and everyone's happy with what's being said and being done. However the moment one person says or does something that’s not pleasing or in accordance to how the other person wants them to act the friendship then sufferers. These people are called "fair weather friends" they stick around for all the good that's comes with the friendship but the minute something doesn't go their way they are mad angry and not very friendly. When you recognize a person as being "fair weathered” be careful what you reveal to them and how much of your time you spend with them because these type of friendships don't normally work out in your favor. If you’re not constantly appeasing them they will eventually turn on you.

 The other type of friends you must be careful with are the "drama inciters" these are the friends that always keep trouble stirred up. In the beginning you may mistake it as they are loyal and protecting you. Anything that comes up that they think can be tied to your feelings and as a result will have you "In your feelings "they rush to tell you. Maybe they saw your ex out with another person and they snap a picture of them and send it to you or they rush to call you  just call to say "girl guess who I just saw?" In Reality does it really matter that you ex was out with another person? They are your ex for a reason which means it's none of your business or concern what they are doing. This my friend is not a real friend. Real friends never bring back information that is pointless and  has nothing to do with your current situation. The drama inciters are dangerous because they come off very strong and overly nice with the intention to lure you in and this sometimes can be mistaken for being a "good person". In most cases they suffer severely from low  self-esteem. They may outwardly carry themselves in a  confident manner but their insides are plagued with low self-esteem so they cling onto a confident person with high self-esteem in a dysfunctional way of trying to balance themselves out. When you run across these type of people you have to decipher whether or not they are a friend or just a fan. A friend sticks it out with you no matter what. If the two of you disagree about something you  will agree to disagree and the problem is resolved. If you currently  have people who are still  holding on to grudges harboring unforgiveness  and or attempting to hurt or slander your name in the process this person is a Foe not a friend. The foe is the one who cheers you on for your accomplishments but never participate in any of the celebration. Why? Because they are internally envious of you because you have accomplished something. Either they have accomplished nothing or they are not where they want to be in their lives so they are in capable of being happy for you. The fan will shout to the rooftop about how special you are to them but will turn on you when you don't behave in a manner that's satisfying to them. These type of people should be handled carefully and with a long handled spoon because their eagerness to cheer you on can be heavily mistaken for true genuine friendship. If you are a person that is constantly making positive changes and on the road to living a right life be careful who you connect to. The peacefulness of your journey is greatly determined by the people you connect with. Make sure you are connecting with true friends and not just mere fans. You will know the difference by the way they treat you when you’re up and their down as well as how they treat you when your elevation no longer allow time for you to give them the attention they crave to make themselves feel better. When your elevating to new higher levels in life always be aware that new levels being new devils and don't be surprised if the devil is securely wrapped up in someone you thought was a true friend. Now go evaluate your circle and determine who's a FRIEND and who's a FOE.