Monday, June 29, 2015

The dangers of looking back

On all vehicles you find that there are three mirrors that play major parts in the safety of your driving. The three mirrors that enable you to see what's behind you are the two rear mirrors located on the drivers and passengers side and then there's the rear view mirror that's located in the middle directly behind the windsheild. The three of these mirrors while very important in your driving journey are very  small in size compared to the windshield which is very large and aids in your ability to see what's going on in front of you. When driving you sometimes have to glance into one of the three rear mirrors to see if it's safe to switch lanes however if you keep your focus on that rear view mirror too long you will lose focus of whats happening in front of you and you could possible crash because you spent to much time looking in the rear mirror behind you. 
When comparing this scenario to your life  circumstances we oftentimes stay too focused on our past and the people and situations behind us. When you are growing sometimes you have to leave  some people and places behind you. Your main focus should be what's in front of you. Although very intimidating the future and what lies ahead always serves as exciting adventure. While uncertainty will play a part it's always better to look forward to what lies ahead especially if the past was not a exciting place to be. Our past will always serve as a comfort zone. The people and  things in our past  serves  as familiar territory and we can sometimes become  comfortable staying there because the thought of venturing out to something new is frightening and scary. If you look back too long and become too focused on the past you will tend to make it  a part of your future.  This should never happen because you will eventually end up crashing  in life  as you would if you were driving a car because you focused more on what was behind you instead of  looking at the big clear future that's in front of you. Focusing on what's ahead of you helps you to get to where your going at a fast pace . Constantly looking behind you slows your progress down and  it takes you longer to get where your going. When thinking about looking back remember the scenario of the car mirrors and remind yourself there's nothing good going on behind you and too much focus on that will cause a major crash in you getting closer to your destiny which it clearly in front of you. Philippians 3:13 encourages us to forget those things which are behind and look forward to those things that are in front of us for what's lies ahead is much more inviting that what lies behind. Looking back places  you in dangerous territory and it robs you of all the wonderful things that lie ahead. Do yourself a favor and never look back you will thank yourself later.






Thursday, June 4, 2015

Matters of the Mind: From a Caterpillar to a Butterfly

Matters of the Mind: From a Caterpillar to a Butterfly: “One day she got tired of squirming around on the ground with the other caterpillars and decided to go through the transformation that was...

Matters of the Mind: How can she submit if he's not leading?

Matters of the Mind: How can she submit if he's not leading?: As I'm preparing myself for the next chapter of my  journey I often talk to God about my relationship status and he always answers back...

Matters of the Mind: " Ultimatum" the mistake women love to make

Matters of the Mind: " Ultimatum" the mistake women love to make: An  ultimatum  ( Latin :  the last one ) is a  demand  whose fulfillment is requested in a specified period of time and which is backed up ...

" Ultimatum" the mistake women love to make

An ultimatum (Latinthe last one) is a demand whose fulfillment is requested in a specified period of time and which is backed up by a threat to be followed through in case of noncompliance. An ultimatum is generally the final demand in a series of requests. As such, the time allotted is usually short, and the request is understood not to be open to further negotiation. The threat which backs up the ultimatum can vary depending on the demand in question and on the other circumstances. 

Never be in such a hurry to get married that you find yourself giving out a ultimatum such as " if you don't marry me  or propose to me by _______ I'm leaving".  The fact that you even feel like you need to say this is a clear indication that the man you so desire to be your husband does not have the same desire for you to be his wife. When a man truly loves you and is ready for the very serious commitment of marriage you won't have to say a word. The fact that you have to bring it up is a red flag that he either is not ready for marriage or he doesn't want to marry you whatever the case may be giving him a ultimatum will not end well.
When he's not really ready but too selfish to let you go you might get a ring but its only to shut you up so you can continue to satisfy his needs. Your persistence may get you down the aisle and it may take months or even years but one day you will realize giving the ultimatum was not in your best interest.
Men are hunters by nature they know exactly what they want. When marriage is what they want and they love you to the point that it's scares them to lose you they take the necessary steps to ensure that you don't go anywhere and again you don't have to say a word. Marriage is a covenant that shouldn't be forced. If one person in the relationship is not whole heartedly ready to get married at some point in the union they will check out. Again this could  take months or maybe even years . Depending on the depth of what your doing to keep them around ( sex, money,gifts) they will stick around but not because of love but for sheer convenience. Where real unconditional  love exists between a man and a woman  you don't have to bring anything to the table but yourself. The love will grow and a bond is formed and this type of bond is  never put together by forced interaction. So the question you should always ask yourself before giving a ultimatum is  "do I  really want to  be married to someone who I had to threaten into marriage"?

 The moral of the story is value yourself enough to know that you should never have to threaten or force  a man into marrying you the man that is truly meant for you will recognize you as his Queen and take the necessary steps to make you his wife.


How can she submit if he's not leading?


As I'm preparing myself for the next chapter of my  journey I often talk to God about my relationship status and he always answers back if you want a good godly man you must first be a good godly woman. Since I developed this intimate relationship with God  I've  been practicing the art of  hearing  from God so when he speaks to me in that manner I've accustomed myself to listening because so often we can be so intertwined in other peoples business we (I) failed to focus on me and what I  needed to change. During one of my self reflective moments I was lead to read the scriptures on being "submissive" because submission in my opinion  is one of the top five  killers of marriages and relationships. When you begin an attempt to follow God it doesn't mean your not going to sin and your not going to make mistakes it simply means that your making a effort to do things Gods way because your way was not working in your favor. When I googled scriptures on being submissive I was shocked at how much of the bible covered summision there are plenty but the first one that caught my eye was:

1Timothy 2:11-14 
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived (by the serpent).and became a transgressor.(sinner).

I had to read this one several times before I could dissect it and decipher where it came to play in my life and this is what I came up with:
Now had Adam been a LEADER in that situation instead of being a FOLLOWER everything would have ran smoothly. But he failed to lead which meant Eve had nothing to submit to so she took things into her own  hands which is what most women do when they choose a man that doesn't have the proper  knowledge of how to or what is required of him to be classified as a leader. This is precisely why I desire a Boaz not a Adam. Adam was passive and  weak Boaz was a strong leader. Adams lack of leadership skills are the reason why  the woman are  making all the descions (Eve) and the passive man(Adam) just following and agreeing to everything  she says even if half the time its a bad choice. As a  leader (Boaz)he would know how to interject and show her a different perspective and together they would make good choices. And her ( Ruth) and  her husband(Boaz ) could live happily ever after.(Ruth 4:13).
See I'm learning that in order to  be submissive you must be connected to a leader otherwise submission wont play apart in your relationship and this is where women all over the world go wrong. When choosing to live the right way you must follow ALL the rules. So ladies  pay close attention to his actions and if he's not a leader lead your way out and be patient and wait for the man than can lead, protect and provide for you the way that God planned it.