The definition of toxic is poisonous. Oftentimes in our lives we will encounter toxic people. A toxic person is one whom brings nothing but strife into your life. They are emotionally abusive, selfish and often unstable in their own lives. When a person is pegged to be toxic they bring nothing good into the relationship and if you allow them to stay long enough they will bring the once happy and joyous you down to their level of toxicity. As we get older and more mature we learn the character of those that are in our circle and depending on who the person is we sometimes allow the toxic ones to stay much longer than God intended. When allowing a toxic person to stay in your space longer than needed things will come up missing such as your sanity your self esteem and your confidence. These things go missing because the toxic person is poisoning your spirit and oftentimes making you believe things about yourself that's not even true causing you to second guess yourself so they can continue to poison you with their venomous words and actions. Once they know they have you they continue to poison your spirit until there's nothing left and then they make you feel like it was your fault. Toxic people are very crafty at playing the victim. They like to place blame on others by redirecting their guilt onto you. For example they tell a lie you catch them in the lie and they call you crazy for approaching them with it in the first place.You must be careful when dealing with these type of people because they can also be very charming witty and good with words this is how most every one get caught in the toxic persons trap. They say all the right things but does something totally different. They seduce people with their words all the while never intending to make good on anything that they are saying and if you should ever challenge them they will always have an excuse as to why they didn't do it and sooner or later you get used to the excuses and become tolerable of their foolishness.Once they know your going to tolerate them the sky's the limit on how much chaos they will bring into your Life. Until you recognize them as being toxic you will put up with it not even realizing what's going on which keeps you attached longer than you were destined to stay. You will know they are toxic by some of the conversation you engage in. If they are always complaining and never have a solution to their problem and somebody else is always to blame TOXIC. If they make everything about them never considering your feelings TOXIC. If they always bring confusion and drama into your space with never any positivity TOXIC. If they disappoint you more than they make you happy TOXIC if your always feeding into them and they are always taking from you TOXIC.These are all tell tale signed of being connected to a toxic person. I encourage you to take heed to these clues and act accordingly. We can sometimes be in denial about whether or not we are dealing with a toxic person and when they should be released. Life is too short to waste on toxic people who are only capable of poisoning your soul. These people even if they are family should not be welcome to waltz in and out of your life at their leisure boundaries must be set with them and remember just because you're in denial doesn't mean it's not happening. Check your circle if you sense toxic remove yourself it will be one of the best decisions you ever made.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Why it's important to hold people accountable
Once you realize that you do indeed have total control over your life you learn that you do have the right to hold people accountable for the titles they claim to hold in your life when we assign a title to a person its their responsibilities to behave in ways that compliment the title. So often we give people titles and learn that they not even capable of holding up their end of the commitment. Holding people accountable doesn't mean you have to be overly critical of them or judgmental it just means that you have a standard and if they are going to be a part of your life in the capacity that they are portraying that there's a certain behavior that must be presented and if they can't present that behavior then you have the right to revoke the title and remove this person from your circle. We have grown accustomed to giving people the benefit of the doubt holding on to people much longer than we should and excusing it by thinking this is how we're supposed to behave not true. I do believe it's true that we are to love everyone with the love that God has placed in us to love them with and holding them accountable is a wonderful way to show them love.
As a life coach I was trained to be an accountability partner that's one of the many exciting thing about life coaching you're not a therapist you're not a psychologist and you're not there to solve any one's problems you're just there to hold them accountable so during my training I've learned how to be an effective accountability partner and listen closely to what's being said as well as what's not being said. In my personal life that has not always turned out to be good for others because now I'm trained to hold them accountable for their roles in my life where years ago I didn't know that I was supposed to. Holding a person accountable does not mean you get to tell them about themselves and tell them everything that they do wrong all you have to do is sit back and observe exactly what they're doing and how they treat you when you find that the treatment does not match with the role that they're supposed to be playing at that time you have the right to speak to them about it this does not have to be done and a critical or attacking way. The tone you use will set the atmosphere for how a person receives what it is that you're saying to them. When you begin to hold people accountable you will experience negative feedback you will be accused of being judgemental you will be accused of being critical but as long as you pray about everything that you say before you say it to a person and you monitor the tone of voice that you're using the person that you speaking to can received the information better but if they can not that doesn't mean your still not supposed to hold them accountable it just means you have to find a way to relay the information to them so they can understand it. If you're not used to holding people accountable when you start the beginning may prove to be a little difficult because for some reason we forget how much power we really do have over our own lives and we often times give that power up to people who never showed themselves accountable for the title that was given to them. Holding people accountable is a giant step to total peace and restoration of your soul I say this because when you hold things in and you allow people to treat you any kind of way when the time comes that you really need those people they won't be able to help because you never held them accountable from day one. Sometimes it takes years and lifetimes for people to come to this realization so once you come to it and know that you indeed have the power to hold people accountable then you can start to practice it and your life will never be the same again.You will see positive changes coming from all directions the people that didn't know how to treat you at one time will be treating you like gold. And the people that weren't supposed to be there in the first place will vanish.
Once you realize you have control over your life and who is allowed to be in it miraculous things will begin to happen do yourself a favor today hold somebody accountable for their role in your life they might not like it but your spirit will thank you.
As a life coach I was trained to be an accountability partner that's one of the many exciting thing about life coaching you're not a therapist you're not a psychologist and you're not there to solve any one's problems you're just there to hold them accountable so during my training I've learned how to be an effective accountability partner and listen closely to what's being said as well as what's not being said. In my personal life that has not always turned out to be good for others because now I'm trained to hold them accountable for their roles in my life where years ago I didn't know that I was supposed to. Holding a person accountable does not mean you get to tell them about themselves and tell them everything that they do wrong all you have to do is sit back and observe exactly what they're doing and how they treat you when you find that the treatment does not match with the role that they're supposed to be playing at that time you have the right to speak to them about it this does not have to be done and a critical or attacking way. The tone you use will set the atmosphere for how a person receives what it is that you're saying to them. When you begin to hold people accountable you will experience negative feedback you will be accused of being judgemental you will be accused of being critical but as long as you pray about everything that you say before you say it to a person and you monitor the tone of voice that you're using the person that you speaking to can received the information better but if they can not that doesn't mean your still not supposed to hold them accountable it just means you have to find a way to relay the information to them so they can understand it. If you're not used to holding people accountable when you start the beginning may prove to be a little difficult because for some reason we forget how much power we really do have over our own lives and we often times give that power up to people who never showed themselves accountable for the title that was given to them. Holding people accountable is a giant step to total peace and restoration of your soul I say this because when you hold things in and you allow people to treat you any kind of way when the time comes that you really need those people they won't be able to help because you never held them accountable from day one. Sometimes it takes years and lifetimes for people to come to this realization so once you come to it and know that you indeed have the power to hold people accountable then you can start to practice it and your life will never be the same again.You will see positive changes coming from all directions the people that didn't know how to treat you at one time will be treating you like gold. And the people that weren't supposed to be there in the first place will vanish.
Once you realize you have control over your life and who is allowed to be in it miraculous things will begin to happen do yourself a favor today hold somebody accountable for their role in your life they might not like it but your spirit will thank you.
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